How to Trick a Military Doctor

While working on the department's budget and all the expenses with Amir, we started having flash backs from our (separate) military service. We served in different units and probably not in parallel period, but nothing really changes.

We actually started to remember the sort of urban legends running among soldiers, suggesting how to trick a military doctor into giving a soldier sick days.

Here are some of the methods, we tried none of which.

The none harmful ones:
1. Rub the thermometer against your uniform (the thigh is the highly common and most recommended part of your body to do so, for the most effective fraction). The thermometer will show you have a fever. works on digital thermometer.
It actually works! I saw a girl doing that at the clinic in Bahad 7, but it showed she had over 40c... You might guess she didn't really look like having over 40c, otherwise she wouldn't be able to do anything other than hallucinate... So she quickly reset the thermometer. Can't remember what happened next. Just be wise and be able to improvise if needed.
There's no guarantee for mercury thermometer.

2. Drink tea, coffee or any other kind of a hot drink just before putting a thermometer in the mouth. It should show a higher body temperature.

3. Few drops of lemon into your urine cup will suggest you have an inflammation of the bladder (Cystitis) when you are asked to put a stick in it.

The sadistic one:

4. Few drops of blood into your urine cup will also suggest you have an inflammation of the bladder when you are asked to put a stick in it.

The disgusting ones:
5. Swallow cigarettes ashes (or drink it with water or juice) and you will get a fever.

6. Scratch some of the layer full of germs off you teeth, and infiltrate your eye(s). That should cause an eye infection.

And the nutcase one:
7. Put lots of thin layers of potato around your foot joint. It is said that the potato takes out the calcium from the bone. one small wrong, you will break a leg.

We suggested that someone should pick up the glove, and make a program similar to Discovery's Myth Busters, and check each and every method in laboratories (and clinics, of course!) made especially for that purpose.

2 stories we've heard:
A soldier told the doctor that he paid for sex (I don't tag people). The doctor sends him to have an HIV test, and gives him 14 sick days, until his tests results should arrive.
Another story is about a soldier that told the doctor he fell in the bathroom and threw-up after it. He got few sick days because those symptoms suggested a head-concussion.

I don't know of any successful experiment using those methods, except for no. 1. If a soldier reads this post, and decides to try and use one or more of the methods and stories, please let us all know whether it works and whether doctors buy it!

Break a Leg!